Mediaspin.ca wishes to apologize to Harold Camping for our doubts about his End-of-the-World predictions. Our site has just received a widely distributed e-mail from a once-distinguished Nova Scotia university that confirms the End Is Truly Nigh.
First some background.
Camping originally predicted 200 million (or so) Christians would be whooshed up to Heaven on May 21st leaving the rest of us sinners to roast as the Earth is gradually obliterated. When May 21st passed and nothing happened, the 89-year-old radio preacher revised the date to October 21 — five months hence. Everyone scoffed including us, but it now appears Camping is right after all. As Gramps used to say, “You know the arse is out of ‘er when the technocrats have finally murdered our beautiful English language.”
Horrifying e-mail from StFX
You see, when we opened our Inbox this morning, we were greeted by what looked like a welcome message, especially in a tiny, seaside province where good jobs are as scarce as northern cod.
“The National Collaborating Centre for Determinants of Health is pleased to announce openings for new staff,” the e-mail cheerily proclaimed. Better still, it informed us that these new jobs would be at “St. Francis Xavier University, a top-ranking Canadian university focused on academic excellence, innovation in teaching and research, service to society and international outreach.”
Then, the shit hit the fan.
It seems StFX is seeking Knowledge Translation Specialists, a Knowledge Broker and a Research Assistant to help it engage in public health renewal. It was the job descriptions that made us abandon all hope:
“KNOWLEDGE TRANSLATION SPECIALISTS design/manage projects; assess research; develop and deliver educational resources and events. The RESEARCH ASSISTANT collects, prepares and analyses evidence; drafts knowledge products; assists projects. The KNOWLEDGE BROKER leads online forums, web/social media, communications; brokers partnerships; builds networks.”
Those references to delivering educational resources and events as well as the drafting of knowledge products made us finally realize civilization is doomed. Way back in 1952, Harold Innis warned about the “continuous, systematic, ruthless destruction of elements of permanence essential to cultural activity.” The StFX e-mail is not just one more nail in our cultural coffin — it slams the lid shut.
Mediaspin regrets that we doubted the good California preacher.